Sunday, May 10, 2015

This post is for those WITHOUT a positive and personal relationship with their mothers. If any of the following apply to you...may today be a day of reflection, cleansing, forgiveness and grounds for a fresh start:
A mother's boyfriend or husband sexually abused or abuses you
Your mother favored or favors your brother(s) over you
Your mother sabotaged or sabotages your romantic relationships/marriage
Your mother mistreats or mistreated your children or favors your sibling's children
Your mother abandoned you or left you for someone else to raise
Your mother made or makes material things, sex, clubbing and men priorities over motherhood
Your mother rarely if ever says or said, " I love you"
Your mother rarely if ever hugged or hugs you
Your mother has EVER said, "I should have never had you"
Whatever the source of pain or disconnect, may the arms of the Great Goddess Mother wrap her arms so tightly around the emotional damage that it literally squeezes the life out of it, REBIRTHING a new you!
This is not to put a damper on all the posted pictures of mothers and beautiful representations being shared. I have always had a close relationship with my mom and she fully cherished me as a child and still does now that I'm grown...probably a little too! But still, we have had some critical, life-changing differences that continue to go unchecked or unaddressed. If we can have a source of tension when certain subjects hit the surface of the table, then surely those who have suffered any of the above must feel some kind of way on days like today. MY HEART AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU! And just remember...our mothers are vessels to arrive at our higher selves of BEING and whatever you experienced or currently endure is not by accident...but something intended for a higher purpose, so use it and SOAR!

Monday, March 9, 2015


I deleted my FB account this past summer, but that still does not stop people from forwarding me the latest and hottest FB debates and debacles.  SMH!  Of course this one struck a sciatica nerve with me and not because "Teacher Got a Big 'Ol Butt", but because there are ADULTS actually bantering about whether this is inappropriate or not?  REALLY?  Ok...first off...if you are a teacher who dresses like,  shall we call her, Mrs. Parker here: STOP IT!!!

Obviously, the teacher's attire is not this outlandish.  However, her students' imaginations might be! We hear so much news about teachers' inappropriate sexual behaviors involving students that maybe teachers' dress code regulations are way down on our list of concerns.  But having served ten years as a high school classroom teacher and six years as both an elementary and secondary school librarian, I'm not telling you what I heard but what I know:  A TEACHER'S ATTIRE HAS AN IMPACT ON CLASSROOM CLIMATE AND LEARNING.  Just like a teacher's hygiene, breath, hair, weight, name it...STUDENTS may not always be learning, but they are definitely WATCHING!  

I started teaching high school in my very early twenties, and I still recall how nervous the principal was to hire me, fearing that I might be too young to teach and mentor high school students.  She had a staff of mainly veteran teachers, so I understood her concern.  But thankfully she took a chance on me, and I was honored as that year's "Favorite Teacher of the Year"!  

                                                                                            Ms. Sandra Roberts

Because my students were only a few years my junior, and I looked just as young as many of them, I  made extra sure that blouses buttoned above cleavage, wide-fitting skirts lengthened below the knees, and snug-free pants protruded from the print of my ass.  And since I usually taught in schools where anything could "jump off", wearing a pair of flat shoes served as protection and defense-- not just comfort!  My point is: you relinquish your SEXY card when you sign up as a teacher!  Unfortunately, the legal ramifications for enforcing strict dress codes within public school districts make it difficult and intimidating for many administrators to address the issue of teacher dress code.  Instead, districts often resort to giving a loose (pun intended) description of professional attire expectations and principals non-assertively and indirectly throw out hints of dress code violations, warnings and reminders during staff meetings.

So rather than make this a debate about whether the teacher in the FB picture is appropriate or not, how about we agree that our children deserve to have professionals who consider them special and important enough to ALWAYS stand, bend or lean before them in clothing that does not cause for QUESTIONS. 

Because chances are...if you have to ASK...(I'm just saying... not hating!)

Saturday, March 7, 2015

If someone calls you out your name....

Hand them a mantra and a mirror!

This is definitely a painful challenge:   how best to prepare our children for the UGLY things that other children might say about them.  Whenever a student redirected another student's mean or teasing taunts by shouting, "Ms. Roberts, so-in-so called me..... or so-in-so said my....!" for me to fix, my quickest response, "Well, it's not what so-in-so calls you, but what YOU answer to!"  Still, as an adult, I knew the anger or hurt from the biting words lingered, regardless of what quick-witted curve ball or shield I might lend my students to throw back or protect themselves.  

The reality is: words really do hurt, even when our self-esteem and self-love are clearly intact.  I love the wittiness and confidence of this beautiful black baby, but I still feel the blunt blow of pain she senses as soon as she reaches the "WORD" part of her story.  I nearly teared up the first time I watched it.  We witness her hesitation to even repeat the "WORD", because it is obviously just that hurtful.  

Thankfully, here is a proud mama, using the situation as a teachable moment to further instill a sense of self-awareness and purpose within her daughter, as well as, make a statement without placing other children and their parents on BLAST (like is so often seen when parents discover their children have been wronged)!